Listening To The Inner Voice

In 2007, a guy I had been dating for a year, which consisted of us partying like rockstars, fucking like rockstars, vacation like rockstars, and me picking up the bills, including the mortgage to the condo I just purchased for us...like a rockstar! I didn't realize he was a groupie, and not part of the band, so to speak. I was on my way to pick up the recently sized engagement ring, with my standard poodle, Molly Sunshine, when we were rear ended pretty hard by an impaired driver that didn't see a mile of cars stopped, and waiting for the Ballard Bridge to come down. It was a month earlier that the guy had asked me to marry him in front of my Father, Step-monster, and siblings. My step-monster began crying, my sister was saying, "Say YES!!!" My Dad was watching with a sideways eye, total entertainment in mind. I didn't exactly see approval in his eyes when we connected our gaze deeply. In my mind, I could clearly recognize my own intelligence screaming "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO". and... within moments I had this incredibly sparkling, mesmerizing stupid diamond ring on my finger. The body sensations that heard the inner NO, began to feel foreign, and disconnected. Mostly a disconnection from my heart's truth. Here in lies the most beautiful lesson of listening, and where befriending my growing body's intelligence. In that month passing, I had a birthday, and Christmas with this guy. Where he literally did NOTHING to celebrate either event with me. No gifts. No dinners. No cards.Not even any words expressing love. His response was simply, he had purchased the ring for me. And on Christmas morning, after he had opened all of his gifts from me, I slipped into a dark bathroom, and sunk into a hot bathtub, and I began to cry quietly, as to not be heard. I couldn't see my life with him, another day, let alone a lifetime. I really didn't want to hurt him. Even at my own expense. So I pulled myself together, and forged forward...until getting slammed ridiculous hard from the driver of that car. She stopped my silly. And When I returned home, and it was clear as to the partner he would be for me when I was injured. I was depressed, and my heart sunk even further into a hiding place within me, of lost despair. How could I have not listened to my own inner voice? While recovering from the auto accident in bed, I was practicing how it felt to listen to that inner voice. I was plugging in. I recognized when I had heard it before, and how it had always kept me safe. Why didn't I listen then? I wasn't allowing my body or my mind to express my truth. I was paying the price, physically, and emotionally, mentally...and I was loosing my radiant shine, because now this had manifested into a place that needed priority attention immediately. I was listening to the voice, in bed recovering, and was asked to be generous, to buy him a ticket home. To return the ring to the store, and have his money refunded to his card. To create a world, where I love Maria enough that I listen to this voice, and resist my stubborn second guessing of what I want, and need to do. Instead come from a place of curiosity possibilities like... asking...do you add value, and meaning to my life? are you safe to enter my protected heart sanctuary space? This way I can explore, and create more of what I want, and let go of the things that are not serving. When I came around to speak my truth to the guy, he was pleased, and willing to accept the ticket home, and the money being return to his card, surprised him further. It was the only respectable way to end things. Accessing my truth, and allowing myself to speak my truth, of listening and honoring my inner voice, allowed more possibilities, of growth, joy, and vitality in all areas of my life. I know my life is richer, and happier because of this. Listening to my inner voice adds new layers of how I can express self-care, self-love, like receiving massages, or practicing pilates, or going for a run. This in turn, adds a new dimension on how others treat me, or even the quality of others, that are drawn to me. In part, because my filtering systems are off the charts radar spectacular ;) And energetically the universe matches our frequency. Choose wisely. Choose to listen. Choose respect, and honor, and the high road. Choose to learn lessons, so they don't repeat. Choose to practice self-love, self-care, so you can hear this inner voice while at a whisper, and not allow escalated volume of an accident to occur. You need to LISTEN to that inner voice. I suggest you schedule bodywork, or guided meditation, which is a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing their mind on a particular object, thought or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state; or massage therapy, or pilates, or our new innovative stretchrassage class, where new combine stretching and massage! I also suggest, ANF Therapy (ANF) Therapy, as I am one of 500 practitioners in the world. ANF is a revolutionary holistic approach to pain and inflammation, where I examine the body following the nerve paths, and focus my attention on finding the root cause of the patient's problem. According to the findings, and related diagnosis, I apply unique medical device, the ANF discs, in order to reduce pain, remove inflammation and prevent it from spreading via the nervous and lymphatic systems. These are all great ways to LISTEN to YOURSELF...and you may listen deeply with a custom session with Maria Toro, at Leguerisseur Healing Center on Mercer Island. leguerisseurhealingcenter.com